I have never been accused of cowardice –
My heart and soul are drenched in courage.
I have vanquished men more gifted than me,
But alas! Here’s a war I can’t dare to wage.
I have no complaints to fling heavenwards,
No painful regrets or remorse to swallow.
But I feel terribly lost – in this darkness,
that shrouds the path I am destined to follow.
I can feel it lurk stealthily nearby…
I can hear it taunt me to stage a fight.
But how to wrestle when you have already lost?
Where to flee when there’s no escape in sight?
Alzheimer’s – they have a rather fancy name for it,
an invincible killer with a ruthless temperament.
While you loiter in the labyrinths of lunacy,
it boldly and briskly builds up its armament.
Perverted senses and frightening memory losses,
leave your cerebral circuitry in a total wreck.
You are unceremoniously warped to a vegetative mode,
as the infernal disease launches a scathing attack.
Even Hippocrates can only sell me false hope,
for nothing seems to work against this devil.
Branded an incurable pathological specimen,
I am left to ponder over my bizarre peril.
My social cognition is slowly fading into a blur,
and I am now just a consumed hospital bed.
If this is how life ahead is going to be like,
wouldn’t I be much better off dead?
Oh Lord! Can’t I have a more graceful exit?
Why this vile twist at the end of the tale?
How can I bear the torture of this painful wait,
as death inches closer at the pace of a snail?
So here I lie – life holding me at ransom,
Head poised against the barrel hole.
Oh! Just pull the god damn trigger…
and lift this curse that imprisons my soul.
Survival stings now as I long for an escape,
from the iron claws of this merciless menace.
Stirring the last dregs of sanity left in me,
I stare ahead into a seemingly endless space.
NISHANK MEHTA | 28.07.2008